A-Z: "N" is for Nicholas in The Miller's Tale

For the A-Z challenge today I'm featuring part 2 of the Miller's Tale from The Canterbury Tales.  If you didn't read the first part, check out my J post here.

"N" is for Nicholas from The Miller's Tale.  Nicholas was an arrogant, pretty-boy character with way too much book smarts and not enough common sense.  He got his in the end so to speak.  LOL!

In part 1 of the Miller's Tale Absalom Allison's serenading caller, left furious with her and disgusting antics. He feels betrayed by Alison and storms off only to call on her again a short while later. Nicholas decides to be the one to stick his arse out this time. And boy did he pick the wrong time to become cheeky--no pun intended. Read these passages from CanterburyTales.org -- verses 607-628 and see how Absalom gets his revenge.

607  I am your Absalom, my own darling!

608  Of gold, quoth he, I have brought you a ring;

 
609  My mother gave it me, as I'll be saved; 

610  Fine gold it is, and it is well engraved; 

611  This will I give you for another kiss.

612  This Nicholas had risen for a piss,

 
613  And thought that it would carry on the jape

614  To have his arse kissed by this jack-a-nape. 

615  And so he opened window hastily, 

616  And put his arse out thereat, quietly, 

617  Over the buttocks, showing the whole bum; 

618  And thereto said this clerk, this Absalom, 

619  O speak, sweet bird, I know not where thou art. 

620  This Nicholas just then let fly a fart 

621  As loud as it had been a thunder-clap, 

622  And well-nigh blinded Absalom, poor chap; 

623  But he was ready with his iron hot 

624  And Nicholas right in the arse he got. 

625  Off went the skin a hand's-breadth broad, about, 

626  The coulter burned his bottom so, throughout, 

627  That for the pain he thought that he should die. 

628  And like one mad he started in to cry, 

As Absalom brands Nicholas's ass with a scolding poker, Nicholas screams to high heaven, practically waking the dead including the husband. In the end, Absalom is vindicated, the lovers are caught, and John, the fool, comes off like a madman. The pilgrims, however, are equal parts amused and outraged by the Miller's scandalous tale. Bahaha!!. Disturbing? A little. Funny? Very much so! :)


Mina B.