For the A-Z challenge today I'm featuring part 2 of the Miller's Tale from The Canterbury Tales. If you didn't read the first part, check out my J post here.
"N" is for Nicholas from The Miller's Tale. Nicholas was an arrogant, pretty-boy character with way too much book smarts and not enough common sense. He got his in the end so to speak. LOL!
In part 1 of the Miller's Tale Absalom Allison's serenading caller, left furious with her and disgusting antics. He feels betrayed by Alison and storms off only to call on her again a short while later. Nicholas decides to be the one to stick his arse out this time. And boy did he pick the wrong time to become cheeky--no pun intended. Read these passages from CanterburyTales.org -- verses 607-628 and see how Absalom gets his revenge.
607 I am your Absalom, my own darling!
608 Of gold, quoth he, I have brought you a ring;
609 My mother gave it me, as I'll be saved;
610 Fine gold it is, and it is well engraved;
611 This will I give you for another kiss.
612 This Nicholas had risen for a piss,
613 And thought that it would carry on the jape
614 To have his arse kissed by this jack-a-nape.
615 And so he opened window hastily,
616 And put his arse out thereat, quietly,
617 Over the buttocks, showing the whole bum;
618 And thereto said this clerk, this Absalom,
619 O speak, sweet bird, I know not where thou art.
620 This Nicholas just then let fly a fart
621 As loud as it had been a thunder-clap,
622 And well-nigh blinded Absalom, poor chap;
623 But he was ready with his iron hot
624 And Nicholas right in the arse he got.
625 Off went the skin a hand's-breadth broad, about,
626 The coulter burned his bottom so, throughout,
627 That for the pain he thought that he should die.
628 And like one mad he started in to cry,
As Absalom brands Nicholas's ass with a scolding poker, Nicholas screams to high heaven, practically waking the dead including the husband. In the end, Absalom is vindicated, the lovers are caught, and John, the fool, comes off like a madman. The pilgrims, however, are equal parts amused and outraged by the Miller's scandalous tale. Bahaha!!. Disturbing? A little. Funny? Very much so! :)
Mina B.