First up, today is the last day to post the 2nd Campaign Challenge. I chose Prompt 1, added in a brief poem and wrote in a different genre. I don’t normally this YA Dystopian, but if I did…it might be a little like this.
The Rising’s madness descended upon us like a frenzied spirit. Nightly winds carried bomb reverberations and smoke streaks across the blackened sky. The ear-piercing cries eventually ceased, but death’s stench lingered.
Liam and I found sanctuary under the ruins of Hye's Bridge. We hid there, waiting for the Bellor’s Vars to finish attacking Dridle, our home.
Home. It was gone now.
I read the scribe aloud.
Unite all that is left one by one
Forging on behalf of the Nether’s son
Spirits will guide thee past the iron hand
For the son must conquer the forbidden land
“What’s it mean?” I asked.
“Don’t know.” Liam lied, but I forgave him. It’s not every day one learns their destiny.
Liam’s efficiently dressed my leg wound again. With the Bellor’s airborne venom, precautions were necessary. Liam sat beside me, his hair slick from crossing the dead infested river. We barely made it.
Home. It was gone now.
I read the scribe aloud.
Unite all that is left one by one
Forging on behalf of the Nether’s son
Spirits will guide thee past the iron hand
For the son must conquer the forbidden land
“What’s it mean?” I asked.
“Don’t know.” Liam lied, but I forgave him. It’s not every day one learns their destiny.
Liam’s efficiently dressed my leg wound again. With the Bellor’s airborne venom, precautions were necessary. Liam sat beside me, his hair slick from crossing the dead infested river. We barely made it.
“Vars won’t come,” Liam said. He was right. Thank the Nethers. I shivered recalling those gangly creatures–products of the Bellors, like me. Liam gripped my hand, worry marred his angelic face. Was he always like this? Yes. But to me, he was breathtaking.
And as far as destinies go, he was mine.
The End.
That's it. I'm #94! It's been a trying week so I hope the darn thing make sense. Critique if you want. Thanks for stopping by.
Friday's with Fred
And as far as destinies go, he was mine.
The End.
That's it. I'm #94! It's been a trying week so I hope the darn thing make sense. Critique if you want. Thanks for stopping by.
Friday's with Fred
I've almost never captured Fred yawning like this. But what do you know...there he goes!
Remember to stop by and visit Schatze over at Mary’s BookHounds too.
Have a great weekend.
Mina B.
25 comments:
Yours is definitely one of the most original pieces! And silly Fred.
Ohhh... this was fantastic. I really enjoy your writing... great balance of description vs. tension. Off to "like" it ;)
Love the last line.
@Alex - Thx. Fred is totally silly!
@Morgan - Thx, sweetie. I wasn't sure...
@SP Bowers - It would have been fun to continue on this one. Oh well...
For someone who doesn't write this genre, you've done a great job :-)
Love that Fred! Seriously, Mina, this isnt part of a book you;re writing? Cause if not I am VERY disappointed. LOVE This piece. Creative, stark, futile, yet hope is there. Draws me in. So much is revealed in such little space..and darn it, i want to know more. And the ending! perfect and leaves you asking so many questions. Got me. Come on, keep going :)
Really enjoyed this! You hit a lot of elements and positioned the reader in such a short amount of space! I got a lot out of this piece so wishing you lots of luck!
I'd definitely recommend expanding because you've built a cool world here.
My entry is #84.
Just 'liked' your piece!
Nice work, Mina! The last line was brilliant. :D
It seems that a lot of writers this time around are giving Dystopia a try. And turning out some awesome entries at that. Yours is totally up there in the awesome category. Nice one! :)
"As far as destinies go, he was fine." Aw, so romantic!
Wow! This rocks! Love your writing style. Simply put, this was great.
"Like!"
Very imaginative and atmospheric writing. Definitely sets us up to want to learn more. Nice!
Love that last line!
Voting!! Awesome :)
Rich & colourful... setting and characters!
Lots of info packed in there! Nice work - loved the characters!
Great work. I just voted for you. :)
Great story, tense and original! And Fred - so talented:)
Ooh, this is really great. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. :)
I really enjoyed this! Great piece! It was like it was cut out from a novel.
Aww! I like Fred. lol. That's my Daddy's name. haha.
i really liked that! touching and forboding!
thanks for sharing your story. liam sounds like an interesting fellow.
Hi! Just to let you know you'v been shortlisted as one of the top five to move on to Stage Two. (The semi-finals will be Stage Three and the finals will be Stage Four.) Congratulations :-)
All my senses were engaged. Well done!
Congrats. You've been shortlisted to move onto the Finals.
Well done Mina, this was a really intriguing story. Love the names you used :) Congratulations - I've awarded you ninth place in the Judging Round! Make sure you check out my post to see the cool prize you've won :)
Congrats again!
Hugs,
Rach
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