Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge: 4th Campaign

Okay, for the First Campaigner Challenge for the Writers Platform Building, I took a stab at a poem. I haven't written a children's tale in a long time. It felt good to do so. Enjoy.

Mina B.



Nothing

A shadow crept across my wall. 
I swore it was nothing, nothing at all.

A shapeless mass tricked by light,
I ignored its visage, dismissed it outright.

I affirmed it was nothing, nothing at all;
yet I starred at that vision as it clung to my wall.

Attempting to relax, I snuggled in my bed,
My eyes locked on the darkling, as it snuck towards my head.

What I thought was nothing…nothing on my orange wall;
was now indeed something, something terrifying after all.

I shut my eyes tight, pretending to sleep;
Until the haunting image jumped on me in one great leap.

My eyes flew open, trying to snatch a peak,
I prayed I’d keep it together, hoping I wouldn't shriek

The being then breathed in my ear and I felt a wet lick.
I shuddered involuntarily; the sensation made me sick.

The beast then bounced on my now buried head. 
My heart pounded furiously until I realized it was my dog, Fred.

“Go to sleep, Fred” I cried, feeling irritated.
Fred cuddled next to me, comfortable and elated.

My something was nothing…like I originally stated.
All was well again and then everything faded.

45 comments:

Jess said...

Yours was the first poem I've read today and I love it!! Great rhyme scheme too! I was thinking about writing a poem for this but it seemed too darn hard! Voting for you! Great job :)

I'm entry #19

Alynza Smith said...

Oh loved it! Sweet ending. :)

kmckendry said...

Love how her imagination ran wild. I'm always making things more creepy than they are.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I definitely like the take you did on this. Poetry was beautiful.

Anonymous said...

This was such a fun poem to read. Nicely done!

Carrie Butler said...

I really liked this! It was fun to read out loud. :)

David P. King said...

I'm a sucker for poetry like this. What can I say, I like to rhyme. nice one, Mina! :)

Ann Cory said...

I'm a huge fan of rhyming poetry - and told in a story fashion like this I just truly enjoyed it! Loved reading it aloud :) Very creative!!

Kevin Hiatt said...

Just too cool.. poetry that rocks like this is just awesome. Very impressive.

Carrie-Anne said...

This was a fun poem. It reminded me a bit of a dark kind of Dr. Seuss.

I tagged you back at my blog.

Ainsley Shay said...

Loved it!! Very well written.

J.C. Martin said...

I love poems that rhyme, and this one was so much fun! Good job!

Mina Burrows said...

Thanks for commenting, everyone. I made my rounds through a good portion of the participants and will plan on doing so the remainder of the week. :)

Alyssa said...

I loved it! This was so creative! Nice job :D

I'm #37

Rachel Morgan said...

So clever! Well done!

Morgan said...

Lovely rhythm... it was so beautiful to read. Really, really, great ;) (And new follower too!)

Tara Tyler said...

excellent poem! fun =)

Theresa Small Sneed said...

Nice blog! Love, love, love your poem! Great job! I'm in your group for Rachael's 4th Campaign! Great to get to know you! ~Theresa Sneed, author of No Angel (and angel with an attitude) and its forthcoming prequel, From Heaven to Earth. http://theresasmallsneed.blogspot.com

Abhishek Boinapalli said...

wow!!

This is the first poem entry I am reading in the campaign!!


A terrific entry I must say ... Awesome .. Way to go ..

with warm regards
Another Author

Nick Wilford said...

You captured those childhood night terrors very well. I was picturing the shadow cast by my ceiling light which made a very creepy shape. Then the defusal of tension, very sweet, and a great rhythm. Nice job! :)

Nick Wilford said...

BTW, tried to follow but can't get your widget to show up for me. >:( Will try later!

carla said...

Love it Mina! Great poem!

DonnaGalanti said...

Mina, you had me going with this...my heart was actually racing as I read along and then the lick...and then the dog....ahhh, I let my breath out. Great poem!

alexia said...

Only the second poem I've seen so far. Nice! And cute ending.

Ashley Nixon said...

This was wonderful! I love that the dogs name is Fred! Great poem--I've only read two, and I'm glad to see this one!

Charmaine Clancy said...

I can not write poetry at all. Good job.
#83

Sally said...

A great poem with a great story, well done. #91

Sherri Lackey said...

I knew it was a dog from the moment it licked. Great job!

Jessica Therrien said...

Oh Fred! Great poem Mina :) So excited to be participating in another campaign with you!

Gwen said...

What a twist, but I absolutely loved your shadow imagery.

#109

Cynthia said...

Mina, I like your use of repetition and your rhythm in the poem. I think at one time or the other, children and even adults can get distracted by something seemingly moving in the dark, and your poem really captured the feelings people share of unsuccessfully dismissing something they don't want to see.

I hope to read more and am now "following" you.

#124

Della said...

lolz.. i thought it was going to be dark and ugly.. but that was a very nice twist. lovely poem! very creative!

Traci Kenworth said...

I LOVED it!!

akoss said...

I LOVED IT!!!
I'm sorry I wish I had something more intelligent to say.
Seriously though your poem rhymes so well.

Kerri Cuev said...

That was awesome and I loved your rhyming!

Nancy Thompson said...

I LOVE rhyming poems and this one totally rocked! Great job!! I'm a new follower and entry #96.

Claire Hennessy said...

I'm not normally a great one for poetry but I just loved your entry.

I am delighted to tell you that you have been shortlisted and will move on to round 2 of the competition. There will be a semi-final (round 3) and a final (round 4).

KSCollier said...

I absolutely loved this poem. Love the happy ending. Sweet dreams.

Oh and you've been tagged.

Go to: www.kscollier1.blogspot.com
for your questions and pass it on.

Colleen Chen said...

Inspiring and funny. You make me feel like writing a poem too now...

Lauren W. said...

Wow! This is fantastic. I hear a strong Poe influence in there :)

Clarbojahn said...

I love the twist. I wrote about terror, too as you know. "Don't eat my toes, OK? Number 181, Thanks for liking it. I appreciate the kind words. We both have twists in our stories . lol Way to go! :)

C.M.Brown said...

Wonderful Blog, new follower here from the campaign! A poem, uniqueness is a truely wonderful thing! Great work!

Sarah Pearson said...

I'm glad I didn't miss this, that was really sweet - and who hasn't been there with the shadows?

Amber Clites said...

First poem I've read, and I loved it! Wonderful writing!

meradeth said...

Fun entry! Totally made me laugh!