Monday, August 13, 2012

"What If?" Fairytale Blogfest

Okay.  Here's my entry. I chose a plot twist.  I couldn't help it.  Cinderella is my daughter's favorite movie and I remember loving it as a kid too, but one part drives me crazy.  At the end, when she tries on the slipper, and the Prince doesn't show up until the end.  That always bothered me like he was too busy to search for her himself. Come on!  That's totally weak, man.  Right, minions?  Right!  And so...her's my entry.


Go Cindy!

Cinderella could barely contain her excitement.  The Prince--her love--had finally come for her.  She barrelled through the door to a room full of royalty and instantly became mute.

“What she doing here?” her stepmother cried. 

The King’s men starred at Cinderella, awed by her beauty.
 
“Where is the Prince?” Cinderella asked, realizing he wasn’t there.

“Hello, my dear, " an older nobleman said, ignoring her stepmother.  “You’re the one our Prince seeks?” He asked.  Cinderella recalled him as the Duke, the King’s right hand.

“Aye,” Cinderella said, handing him her other glass slipper.  The man nearly wept with relief.  “Where is he?” She asked.

“At the castle, my dear.”

Cinderella’s face fell.  Her Prince hadn't come. 

Cinderella then spoke in a regal tone.  “My name is Ella, daughter of the Earl of Clemont and the rightful heir to my father’s estate,” she said pointing to a painted picture of her and her father on the wall.  Her claim was irrefutable.  “Escort these people parading as my family out.”
 
She then turned to the Duke.  “Tell your Prince that if he wishes to marry, he must ask me...in person.”

The Duke bit back a retort and gave a warm smile.  “Indeed, my dear.  I have no doubt he'll arrive shortly.”

Cinderella harrumphed, annoyed that the man of her dreams wasn't there. 

As the Duke left to deliver the message, the guards escorted the step monsters off her estate.  Indignant cries bellowed incessantly, but Cinderella ignored them.  All she cared about now was if the prince truly loved her.  Perhaps they didn't suit?  The thought made her sullen.

***

The Duke arrived at the palace empty handed. 

“Where is the girl?” The Prince demanded. 

The Duke then relayed the details about Ella to the Prince and his parents. 

The Prince asked disbelievingly.  “I sent a royal search party after her, and she still wouldn’t come?”  

The Queen hid a smile while the King shook his head.  “Son,” the King sighed heavily.  “You have much to learn about women.”


The End.  

That's it!  I'm off to read the other awesome entries! Have a great day!

Mina B.

13.
59.

24 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You want her, you have to go get her, man!

L.G. Keltner said...

Great story. I wrote about Cinderella too. This is definitely a character who needed to learn to stand up for herself, and your story made her shine. Great work!

Elise Fallson said...

Hahah! Indeed little prince, get up off your backside and go get her! :D

D. D. Falvo said...

Haha! Just like real life. lol. Loved your take on an old tale, and Cinderella's gumption. This was a fun read.

michelle said...

A strong, smart and savvy Cinderella... you go girl!

Aldrea Alien said...

Much to learn indeed. Wonderful twist! I can see the judges are going to have some hard decisions to make.

Morgan said...

LOL! Much to learn about women! Too funny... seriously! Fab job, Mina. I totally loved this :)

Mina Lobo said...

Atta girl, Ella! Show that Prince what's what! And LOL, "step monsters." :-)
Some Dark Romantic

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

Every other man has to do it in person, I think the Prince absolutely should too. Well done!
A2Z Mommy and What’s In Between

Medeia Sharif said...

I love how she orders the step-monsters to be escorted out. I like her strong spirit.

Cecilia Robert said...

LOL..I loved your ending better. :) Oh, she's got spunk, thats a good thing.

J. A. Bennett said...

That's always bothered me too! Thank you for finally setting the record straight!

Tara Tyler said...

darn straight!
great cinderella attitude adjustment!

Miranda Hardy said...

I enjoyed that twist to the tale. I can totally see this happening. lol

Mark Koopmans said...

Too funny and oh so true... you ladies really do give us gentlemen the runaround sometimes :)~

Leigh Covington said...

LOL!
That last line is awesome! I totally love it! Great twist to the tale! Hopefully the prince was smart enough to jump on his royal steed and head her way! :)

Danielle B. said...

That right! Go and get her. Sheesh! Men! Love this.

Nick Wilford said...

That was a great last line! I've seen quite a few Cinderella adaptations in the blogfest. I like how self-assured she comes off as here.

Mark Murata said...

I guess I don't remember the movie, so I had to do my own version at my blog, kind of.

Clare said...

Loved your version of Ella, she was such a strong character. Good for her, demanding the Prince came to her estate. Excellent stuff.

Jackie said...

So great! I laughed at the King's response! :)

Cassie Mae said...

I ALWAYS thought the same thing about this Cinderella's prince, lol. He does have a lot to learn ;)

C.M.Brown said...

He is a bit slow! Well done Mina, great entry!

S. L. Hennessy said...

Haha, I missed reading this before, but it was AWESOME! I LOVE the king's response. Boys - so clueless. :)